


What would Altair do?

by LadyLustful



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Dialogue-Only, F/M, Humor, LITERALLY, Mentions of Sex, Misundersandings, Sassy, screw the Templars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 14:01:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11465073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLustful/pseuds/LadyLustful
Summary: In which Altair is held up as a role model, history is in turn warped and corrected, and advice is mistaken in the best possible way.





	What would Altair do?

“Arno, mon ami, please be reasonable. I know you are... quite... smitten with that de la Serre girl, but it is not meant to be. She is a Templar, the enemy, and no matter how highly you think of her, you cannot trust her. Just think about it. You need to ask yourself: what would Altair do?”

“Altair Ibn-La'Ahad, the Great Eagle of Masyaf?”

“Yes, him.”

“Her.”

“What?”

“According to all known sources, Altair spent the better part of his life happily married to Maria Thorpe, a former Templar and would-have-been Grand Master. According to some sources, some reportedly written by Altair himself, their, mm, marital life was extensive and creative enough that it is legendary to this day. So if you want to know what Altair would do about falling in love with a Templar, the answer probably is: invite her to to the nearest haystack, to, well, you get the picture.  
Which is not a bad idea in and of itself, but I think I will start with coffee. Screwing around in haystacks may be fun and very traditional, but it can hardly be called classy.”

 

 


End file.
